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MARTYR-DUMB - 11.09.06
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Copr. 2005 Rob McGrath

11.09.06 - THE FIRST BATTLE OF THE NEW REVOLUTION has been won at the ballot box, and every constitution-loving American is rightfully giddy as all get-out. Lots of people are doing post-election cartoons featuring donkeys punching elephants and such. I wanted to commemorate the victory a different way; by honoring an oft-misunderstood soldier who, while not even involved in an active campaign, managed to inject himself into the heat of battle in a daring eleventh-hour media assault which may have ultimately become a political suicide mission. I'm speaking, of course, of stand-up comic and decorated Viet Nam war veteran John Kerry. After a failed delivery was turned against Kerry, he charged on undaunted, and in so doing exposed deep republican desperation to an already disgusted electorate.

His impassioned defense of a failed attempt to be one of the cool kids inspired and energized grass roots democrats, but ever-opportunistic camera whores goaded on by scoop-hungry propagandists eventually forced Kerry into retreat. He actually bought into the ridiculous notion that an unwarranted apology would stop the rabid corporate media from further exploiting his gaffe as the election bore down on his colleagues, who were already fighting for their lives. Of course, it didn't work. John Kerry was immediately labeled a flip-flopping troop-hater, and it appeared that any presidential aspirations he may have harbored were all but doomed.

Polls after the fact determined that the republicans' over-the-top reaction to Kerry's botched joke actually helped the democrats, and
just a couple of days later the ultimate poll, the midterms, seemed to bear that out. But remember how razor thin some of the margins were? Perhaps...just maybe...in botching a joke about the consequences of a poor education, John Kerry helped deliver the biggest education of all to the Washington power machine. And that's why John Kerry is one of the Unsung Heroes of the Revolution.

Twas the thumpin' heard 'round the world. - RMcG

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